How To Initiate Healing
In my last post, I promised to write about steps to take to initiate your healing. The following are what I consider to be the most important steps:
- Admit you’re wounded/hurt: Unless you name your hurt, you won’t be able to effectively deal with it. You need to deal with it at the root. If it isn’t properly uprooted, it will sprout again. Until you are willing to admit you have a problem, you will not be able to find a suitable solution.
- Forgive: Until you forgive, you cannot move on. Forgiveness is the most important stage of healing. If you refuse to forgive, you’ll hold yourself in bondage and delay your healing. Holding back on forgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. You’ll only hurt yourself more. No matter what was done to you, no matter how badly it hurts, forgive. For you. It’s not for the other person.
- Practice self-love: Wounds, hurts, pain, betrayal, break ups, abuse, etc. They all have a way of making a dent on our self- worth and self-esteem. You need to understand that none of that makes you worthless or someone undeserving of love and good things. Take yourself out, pamper you. Speak positive affirmations to yourself daily. Hold the people you keep in your circle to a higher standard. Smile often. In summary, eat good food, read good books & keep great company.
- Work on yourself: Be objective. Are there problem areas that you ought to fix? Are you a nag? Are you overly clingy? Possessive? Manipulative? Unfaithful? Dishonest? Bad communicator? Disrespectful? Arrogant? Do you have trust issues? Are you consumed by jealousy? You have to take a long, hard look at yourself in the mirror. Be honest with yourself. Get a close friend that you trust to evaluate you. There are probably some attributes, character flaws, habits that you need to get rid off and replace with better stuff. Educate yourself about your love language, personality type and work on growing/developing your Emotional Intelligence (EI).
- Show love to others: We’re so consumed with finding romantic love we forget to show love to the people around us. Smile more. Encourage someone. Give without expecting anything in return. Be there for people that need you in whatever capacity you can. You’ll find that with every smile you put on someone’s face, you draw closer to your healing. Showing love to others indirectly help you heal.
- Seek professional help if necessary: I know it’s still a big deal in this part of the world but, I always advise people to get therapy if they need it. Doesn’t mean you’re crazy or weak, only means you need extra help. Both of my parents have a history in psychiatry (professional) and I’ve also had a bit of therapy. I know (from experience), that emotional wounds/pain/hurts can lead to depression. It can stunt your growth and keep you stuck. It’s like an invisible bondage that entraps your mind. We forget ever so often that break ups, rape, abuse, etc. can lead to emotional and psychological trauma. You shouldn’t self-medicate if your wounds require that you see a professional. Bottling it up will ultimately cause more harm than good.
Seeking professional help to help you heal is not something to be ashamed of, instead you should be proud you are taking your healing process serious.
Please understand that every individual’s healing process is unique. What works for A might not necessarily work for B. You have to do what works for you. Healing will not be immediate and it will probably hurt (a lot!) before it gets better, but I promise you that it’s worth it.
Good luck on your journey to wholeness. You can do it!!!
About The Guest Author
Adupeola Odewale is a Creative Writer, she’s also a Children’s Minister and founder of Catch Them Young Foundation. She’s passionate about two things; Young people as well as Building Healthy and Lasting Relationships. She’s an addicted reader and has an undeniable sweet tooth. Chocolate is her poison of choice.
You can check out her blog at www.adupeolaodewale.blogspot.com