5 things that will ruin your relationship

These Five Things Will Ruin Your Relationship – Lifestyle

5 things that will ruin your relationship

These Five Things Will Ruin Your Relationship

It’s been a while I wrote anything on this blog and I blame it on a couple of amazing writers that help out here. They have truly been amazing and I am undeserving. Click here and here to see for yourself.

Anyways, a couple of week ago, I suffered from what I call a mid-life relationship crisis. I thought about creating a blog post back then so you guys can also weigh in your opinions but I feared I might be sentimental and biased in my writing. This latest love episode in my life motivated me to write and share this post about the things that ‘will ruin your relationship’. If you let them.

Relationships can be the most exciting and annoying aspects of our lives. In fact, when it’s exciting you feel like you have everything figured out and even look down on single people. But you see, when it becomes annoying and the initial romantic fanfare slowly fades away like the evening sun, you immediately miss being single.

Failing relationships are no fun really and not everyone can handle the pressure that comes with fighting for love. I will keep saying it that most celebrity marriages fail because of excitement. I mean these are people who live for spontaneity.

Most celebrity marriages fail because of excitement. I mean these are people who live for spontaneity. - Fiezie92 Click To Tweet

Anyways back to relationships, failures and blah blah blah.

Ever wondered what destroys most relationships? Please read on.

Click here to read how to heal after an heartbreak.

  • Unrealistic Expectations

Starting with this is strategic as it most times is the cause of most of the other things that ruin a relationship. Before you start dating someone, you have to ask yourself what you want and what you aim to achieve by going into it. This is mostly overlooked by everyone but it is extremely important.

For example, you have to know that you are responsible for your own happiness and if you date someone expecting them to fill that shoe then I’m sorry but the relationship will end in failure. Your partner should be a source of happiness for you but not the source.

Before you start dating someone, you have to ask yourself what you want and what you aim to achieve by going into it. - Fiezie92 Click To Tweet

Also, the world is fast-moving towards the direction of people faking a lot of things. I once had a friend who would use performance enhancers to mask the fact that he couldn’t have sex for more than a few minutes. Everything was fine until he started dating the lady full-time and couldn’t keep up with daily doses of sex enhancers.

Surely, we’ve also heard about people who pretend to be rich when they are really just surviving. The thing with creating a false sense of self is that you surely can’t keep up.

The thing with creating a false sense of self is that you surely can’t keep up. - Fiezie92 Click To Tweet

Do you believe unreliastic expectations can ruin a relationship?
  • Lying

Lying can easily be considered an extension of unrealistic expectations in many ways but let’s go into lying in relationships proper. And by that, I mean relationship and trust. To achieve any joint height or progress, the foundation must be built on trust.

People lie to avoid hurting someone they care about or to avoid the repercussions of their actions. While you might think this is all noble and you should be awarded a medal, the thing with lying is that it piles up and then it becomes too much.

Instead of lying, take a chance and tell the truth, no relationship is expected to be perfect anyways. Building a relationship on a foundation of lies is having no foundation at all.

Building a relationship on a foundation of lies is having no foundation at all. - fiezie92 Click To Tweet

Do you believe unreliastic expectations can ruin a relationship?
  • Infidelity

I’ve been dreading this factor because I’ve most recently been guilty of this. Let me just tell you what you most likely don’t want to hear;

“WHEN YOU ARE IN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT GETTING TOO CLOSE TO THE OPPOSITE SEX.”

Shouldn’t you make friends? Yes you should. But you have to constantly beware that infidelity knows no gate or landlord. It’s the truth! There is a belief that when you are always in constant communication with someone, you start to see them in another light and even believe feelings are involved. Sadly, most times mistakes would have been made before you become wise.

“WHEN YOU ARE IN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT GETTING TOO CLOSE TO THE OPPOSITE SEX.” - fiezie92 Click To Tweet
  • Playing The Blame Game

Sighs! Don’t we all just love being right?

But you have to let this behaviour go for the betterment of your relationship. Emotional maturity comes with knowing when you’re wrong and acknowledging it. It comes with understanding that everyone is responsible for his or her actions. Playing the blame game is also low-key an act of subtle unkindness because rather than share negativity as one; you are dumping it in your partner’s lap.

But you have to constantly beware that infidelity knows no gate or landlord. - fiezie92 Click To Tweet

Playing the blame game is one of the worst forms of disrespect in a relationship. And I’m happy to tell you that while it doesn’t quickly rear its head like the symptoms of some deadly diseases, it is one of the most silent killers of relationships.

Playing the blame game, only seeing things from your own perspective and always trying to be right are all very closely related siblings. Before you know it, you are trying to push each other’s buttons and throwing sly digs like Frisbee. You have to learn accountability.

Should you change yourself for a relationship? Read here

  • Clinging To Resentment

One of the biggest turn off in a lady for me is clinging to resentment. I have shown many love interests the exit door because I don’t have the energy to deal with this negative spirit. I mean, are we ever going to move past this? Come on. No one likes to see past mistakes or happenings shoved in their faces every time something comes up. You have to be able to forgive and move on.

If you’re lucky and successful in your relationship then you are potentially looking at a lifetime together. I wonder if anyone will like a partner bringing up past resentments every single time there is a misunderstanding or quarrel. I mean, if you can’t look past my yesterday then you have no business with my today or tomorrow.

You have to be able to let go for your own sanity and the general health of your relationship.

if you can’t look past my yesterday then you have no business with my today or tomorrow. - fiezie92 Click To Tweet

The truth is that there are many things that destroy relationships but I’m sticking with this 5 because they are mostly overlooked. Silly things like talking too loud or snoring can ruin your relationship so let’s not be fooled that you have to do anything excessively wrong for it to fail.

In fact, a study on Science Alert states that “there are certainly annoyances that can become dealbreakers in otherwise generally healthy relationships. And if your partner disrespects, hurts or abuses you, those are behaviors that shouldn’t be ignored and should rightly end your relationship.”

If you have other things that can ruin a relationship in mind, please let me know through the comment section.

Did you find this article helpful?

 

A walk of shame is a short story series by writer and poet Mallami Adekunle about the journey of the marriage of a young couple who after years of marital bliss started experiencing marital difficulties. This is basically a journey of most marriages as we know it, love, fights, cheating, make ups, makeup sex, betrayal and all.

Episode 1: A Walk Of Shame – Short Story Literature

Maternal Footsteps Episode 1

A Walk Of Shame

My name is Mary and I’ve been married to the love of my life for 6 years.
Our story was taken straight out of the scripts of a fairy-tale movie.

Ade was my childhood friend, we later became high school sweethearts and
got separated for a few years during our university days, but as faith
would have it, we found each other again and we’ve been inseparable ever
since. He hadn’t even finished popping the question before I screamed
Yes Yes Yes!!! I do. It was a childhood dream come true.

The first four years of our marriage was fun, they were arguably the best
years of my life. Every minute we were together was golden, I used to
call them the poetical days because the beauty of those days can only
ever be well appreciated in the depths of a poem.

Oh how I missed the poems Ade would write me and send me on whatsapp when
we were getting ready for work. The sexy part of it was that we’d be in
the same room getting ready for work and he’d still send me the message.
Oh how I always looked forward to those poems, I’d basically do
everything in the morning with my phone in hand.

The devil called my husband always knew how to make us at least fifteen minutes late for work. It’s why he was my sexy stud.

But just like it always is about life, everything changes. Everything soon
changed in our fifth year of marriage, and no it isn’t what you’re
thinking. We don’t have kids yet so the responsibility of me of having
to tend to the children did not put pressure on or distance between us. I
would love to blame it on our inability to have kids yet but the truth
was Ade didn’t care even with all the pressure he was getting from his
family. We’d gone for various medicals and the tests proved that we were
both very fertile so he made a promise to her that they’d just keep
trying and if one day she grew tired of the silent house then they’d
just get surrogate parents or even adopt children.

What happened next to this two love birds? How did Mary end up in Ebuka’s
bed? Find out in our next episode of ‘A Walk of Shame’.

 

A Walk Of Shame - Episode 1



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